Why seek professional assistence?

How do conflicts arise?

Most conflicts between people result through conversations, whereas both partners want to be “right”. And actually from their standpoint, they are “right”. As long as one partner does not confer the “right” of the other, conflict is the result. The appearance and which impact it can have, are just as individual as every human being.

Conflicts have a number of effects. Depending upon how disputes are carried out, it influences if we stay capable of acting or become incapable to act. Some people resolve disputes, so that they have negative effects on the psyche of others. Other people are affected, that it impacts their own psyche and a feeling of hopelessness arises.

Being “right” or obtaining the “right” are twofold. To obtain “right”, compromises have to be made. Especially during disputes. It is not about winning or losing, but rather a question about accepting other perspectives. Once the other perspective is accepted, then the process of understanding can begin. Without understanding, the process of recognition is hampered. Every message, whether verbal or non-verbal, serves a purpose. Once the purpose is recognized then the message can be understood.

To resolve disputes or to make compromises, the partners need to listen to each other. There is a difference between “to listen” and “to hear”. During disputes people often have the feeling that they are being heard, but not listened to. Normally when a person has a feeling that they are being heard, the dispute stays upright. To hear something is usually one-sided.

However listening is multilateral and mutual. When people listen to one another and questions arise, these questions will be answered. Usually this results in a dialogue. When people are in dialogue with one another, they become the feeling they are taken seriously, have a sense of security, achieve self-confidence as well as confidence in others.

The longer a conflict exists, the greater the risk that thought patterns, feelings and patterns of  behavior become manifested. To emerge from this condition, depending upon the level of mental stress that is caused, a consultation or therapy may be helpful.